如:Her eyes reflected the candlelight as she smiled at her son. “Everyone is unique. Just follow your heart and be yourself!”当她对儿子微笑时,她的眼睛反射着烛光。“每个人都是独一无二的。只要跟随你的心,做你自己!”(这句话就没有用dialogue tag,而是通过表情取而代之)
3、错误使用对话标签
"I can't believe it," Emma gasped. (gasp意思为“喘气”)
"That's funny," Henry chuckled. (chuckled.意思为“轻笑”)
这里把动作描写和对话标签混淆了,试想谁能“喘息或轻笑”出一句话?除非他或她有特异功能。
可以改为:
"I can't believe it," Emma said with a gasp.
(对话标签Emma said+ with介词短语)
Emma gasped. "I can't believe it."
(动作描写+句号)
"I can't believe it." Emma gasped.
(对话句+动作描写,注意对话句式句号)
"That's funny!" Henry chuckled.
(感叹句结束+动作描写)
"That's funny," Henry said, chuckling.
(dialogue tag+ 分词做伴随状况)
4、重复使用“said”或相同意义的副词,让阅卷人觉得词汇匮乏。 只会tell 不会show。
“How can you do this?”she said angrily,looking at me furiously.
①第一种:加语气。基本结构为:in a/an+形容词firm坚定的/rude粗鲁的/sad悲伤的+tone。也可以用 in a tone of +名词的搭配。如:in a tone of surprise用一种惊讶的语气、in a tone of curiosity用一种好奇的语气、in a tone of impatience用一种不耐烦的语气、in a tone of command用一种命令的语气
“I would love to,” said Emily in a pleasant tone. “我很乐意这样做,”艾米丽用一种愉快的语气说。
② 第二种:加嗓音。基本结构是:in a/an+形容词+voice,如:in a high /low / sweet/loud/soft /weak voice 用一个高/低/甜/响亮/软/弱的声音
“I didn’t mean to,” she murmured in a low voice. “我不是故意的,”她低声说。